A Long Time in Coming
by Emery Saks
Summary: Shortly after Jean-Luc Picard and Beverly Crusher acknowledge their feelings for one another, the Doctor is injured in an attack. Will Jean-Luc's past fears resurface and ruin their chance for love?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This was written in 1998. I found it while going through my collection of writings and thought I'd post it for posterity.**

_Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. We bow down and offer up action figures as a sacrifice to the mighty Berman. Now I can play with them guilt-free._

Jean-Luc Picard stood self-consciously outside Beverly Crusher's quarters, gifts in tow. It was the night shift, so few crew members passed by. Those who did, however, were justifiably curious, but too polite to question why the Captain was standing outside the ship's CMO's quarters at one in the morning.

_Beverly, open the door_, he thought. He was about to turn away when the doors parted, revealing a disheveled Beverly Crusher. Picard couldn't help but smile at the sight of her. She stood before him, wearing a pink satin nightgown that fell just above her ankles and revealed her creamy white shoulders. Her hair, somewhat out of place, fell around her shoulders in a cascade of red, with a single ribbon in the back.

When Beverly realized who the figure in her doorway was, she exclaimed, "Jean-Luc!" and proceeded to throw her arms around him. Picard staggered back and managed to get one arm around her and return the hug.

"It's good to see you too, Beverly," he laughed.

She pulled him inside and looked at him. "When did you get back? I thought you weren't supposed to return until tomorrow."

"The conference had to be canceled early due to the Prime Minister's daughter running off with a young man," Picard explained.

Beverly's eyes widened and then she began to laugh.

"What is so funny about that, Beverly?" Picard asked, frowning.

"Nothing ... really, I shouldn't be laughing. It just reminded me of how it was to be young and in love," she said wistfully.

"Yes, well," he cleared his throat, "getting to the reason why I'm here ... if I'm not mistaken, someone just celebrated a birthday."

Beverly's eyes widened and she asked, "Wherever did you hear that?"

"Oh you know, the usual suspects," Picard replied vaguely.

"Well, yes, as a matter of fact, Ensign Myres just celebrated her twentieth birthday, yesterday," Beverly teased.

Picard looked at her and smugly said, "Well then, I suppose I shall go and take these to her." He proceeded to turn around and was halfway to the door, when he heard Beverly laugh and felt her hand on his arm.

"Jean-Luc! I want my presents!"

He laughed. "Demanding, aren't we?"

Beverly just smiled. Picard sat down next to her and handed her the smaller of the two packages. Beverly kept her gaze on him while she undid the wrapping. She squealed in delight as she pulled an intricate perfume bottle out of the box.

"Jean-Luc Picard! How did you know that I wanted this?"

"Well, believe it or not, Beverly, I actually did pay attention when you dragged me shopping on our last shore leave," he told her as she dabbed some of the perfume on her neck.

"I guess so. Next time, I'll be sure to point out the _really_ expensive things, now that I know you're listening," she said with a wink.

"Indeed," he replied with a smile. Taking the last present into his hands, he handed it to her. "I hope you like this one," he said, a bit nervously.

Beverly glanced at him curiously before she opened the box. Her eyes lit up with amazement as she lifted the lid. "Oh, Jean-Luc," she breathed. "It's beautiful," she whispered as she lifted a dark blue satin dress from the box.

"I hope it fits," he said softly.

"I'm sure it will," she assured him. "Wherever did you get this? It's exquisite."

"I saw it on Starbase 12 a few months ago. The moment I saw it, I knew it was your dress. I had to guess on the size, so ..." his voice trailed off as he watched her.

"It's perfect," came the soft reply.

"Would you care for dinner this evening? It would give me an opportunity to see you in the dress and catch up on ship's business."

"I'd love to," she replied, as she put the dress back in the box.

Rising, Picard said, "I'm glad you liked your gifts, Beverly. To be honest, I wasn't quite sure what to get you."

"They're both perfect. Whoever said men can't shop, obviously never met you."

Picard laughed and offered her his hand. She took it and they walked to the doors. They stopped as they reached the entrance and Beverly took his other hand into hers. "Thank-you, Jean-Luc, for remembering my birthday and for the wonderful gifts. What would I ever do without you?"

"Probably live a peaceful life," he replied, smiling.

"Probably so," she conceded with a smile. "But, I think I'll take my chances and keep you around for a while." Becoming serious, she continued, "I'm glad you're back."

She leaned forward and kissed his cheek, letting her head come to rest on his shoulder. Not quite sure of the direction this was taking, Picard cautiously placed his arms around her waist. His heart quickened as Beverly slid her arms around his neck. They stood like that for a few minutes, just enjoying each  
other's closeness. It was Picard who pulled apart first.

"Beverly," he said softly.

"Yes?" she looked at him with those luminous blue eyes.

"I think I should be going. We both have a lot to do tomorrow." He disengaged himself from the embrace and smiled at her.

Beverly's thoughts flew through her head. What was she doing, standing here with him, embracing him? She shook herself mentally and replied, "Of course."

"I'll see you for dinner this evening? 2000 hours?"

"That'll be great," she replied. "See you then."

"Yes, well, uh, goodnight," he said, feeling extremely uncomfortable, and not having the slightest clue as to why.

"Goodnight," she echoed, sensing his discomfort and knowing that she had caused it. She watched as the doors shut on him. Leaning up against them, she silently cursed herself. _What were you thinking, Bev? You can't do this. You don't want this from him_. She sighed. _Yes, I do. I do want this from him. More  
than anything else I want him. _Torn between her feelings for this man and her fear of giving into those feelings, Beverly walked back to her bedroom and laid down, spending a restless night in sleep.

xxx

Picard sat in his Ready Room staring at the monitor, but not really seeing it. His mind played kept going over the events in Beverly's quarters. He had felt so calm with her there in his arms, yet so unsure. He knew that he wanted a relationship that went beyond the mere friendship they presently shared, but what was it that Beverly wanted? At times, it seemed as if she was ready to take the next step in furthering their relationship, like last night. But then, she would close up and push his advances away. He sighed. Would this game never end?

His thoughts were interrupted by the beeping of his comm badge.

"Riker to Picard."

"Picard here, go ahead Number One."

"Sir, you have an incoming transmission from Admiral Shaughnessy."

"Patch it through." Picard closed the communication channel and turned to face his now occupied viewscreen. The familiar Federation emblem flashed across the screen and then was replaced by the older, yet distinctly handsome face of the Admiral.

"Charles, so good to see you," Jean-Luc said with a smile.

"Hello, Jean-Luc. It's been a while hasn't it," Charles replied, his English tongue accenting every word.

"Too long," Picard agreed, waiting patiently for the Admiral.

"Well, getting down to business, Jean-Luc, we've received some disturbing reports from Centari III system."

Picard lifted a curious eyebrow. "Oh?"

"Yes," Shaughnessy continued. "Apparently, the Cardassians are running tactical maneuvers in that area."

Picard, not following, asked, "But that is acceptable under the treatise, is it not?"

"Acceptable, yes. Comfortable, no. Starfleet has just recently stationed a team of scientists on Cetus 4-A, the fifth planet in the Centari III system. We've been running field tests concerning the matter/antimatter assemblies in regard to the reaction injectors. If these tests come back within the acceptable limits of safe warp travel, we'll be able to increase the precision in which we can feed matter and antimatter streams into the warp core, increasing our efficiency by at least one-hundred and ten percent," Shaughnessy  
explained.

Picard leaned forward. "I had no idea that the work on that theory had progressed so far. I remember hearing about it when I was last at Headquarters, but ..." he trailed off, shaking his head.

"As you can see, the Cardassians presence there is just a bit too convenient and unsettling, to say the least. I want you to take the Enterprise to Cetus 4-A and see what's going on over there. Avoid all possible confrontations. We just want to take a peek and then, if necessary, let a small task force take care of it. Understood?"

"Yes, Admiral. Quite understood."

"Very good. Best of luck to you, Jean-Luc."

"Thank-you, Admiral."

"Oh, and Jean-Luc, come by and see Emily and myself next time you make it back to Earth."

Picard smiled for a moment as the screen went blank. Sighing, he leaned back and rubbed the base of his nose. _Life is never easy_, he thought.

xxx

The door chimed at exactly 2000 hours. Beverly sighed and took one last look in the mirror, critiquing herself. Her hair fell softly around her shoulders, framing her face in a soft wave. She smiled, satisfied with the result, and moved to let Jean-Luc in.

"Hello, Jean-Luc," she greeted as the doors parted.

Picard, for his part, was stunned by the picture Beverly presented. He needn't had worried about the dress. The tight fitting outfit clung to every curve in all the right places, accenting her graceful body. His body filled with desire as he stood in her doorway, drinking in the sight of her.

"I take it you like the dress?" she asked teasingly.

"Very much so," he replied, having the grace to blush slightly. "I see my fears were in vain."

"Apparently so," Beverly laughed. "At least I know what to wear when I need to get your attention in future situations."

With that, Picard laughed and offered her his arm. "Indeed, Doctor. Now, shall we go? I, for one, am hungry."

Beverly took his arm and spoke. "Of course. Where are we dining tonight?"

Picard smiled mischievously at his companion and merely offered, "It's a secret."

Beverly looked at him. "A secret? Not even one clue?"

Picard shook his head and smiled.

_What does he have planned?_ Beverly wondered. _Something is definitely going on here._ She was surprised to find a flash of pleasure run through her at the thought of what he might have planned. *Now, now* she scolded herself. _Let's not jump to conclusions. The man just probably wants to talk and catch up on the latest news. _She rolled her eyes at the idea. _Sure he does. That look on his face when he saw you in the dress...definitely just wants a casual conversation._

Beverly shook off those thoughts and stole a glance at Picard. He looked extremely handsome tonight in his civvies. He wore a dark grey shirt that allowed just a peek of his muscled chest. His fitted pants were a dark black and clung to his body. _Definitely not Starfleet issue_, she thought wryly.

Her thoughts were interrupted as they came to the turbolift. Gesturing to Beverly, he extended an arm. "Ladies first," he said gallantly.

Beverly smiled and entered the 'lift. Picard followed and waited until the doors had closed before issuing his command. "Deck 17." He turned to his companion. "Has curiosity killed the cat, yet?" he asked, with what looked to be like a smirk threatening to grace his features.

Beverly briefly considered wiping the smirk off his face for him, but then thought better of it. It wouldn't do to be thrown in the brig. She merely smiled and turned her back to him.

Picard was amused. He thoroughly enjoyed the game they played with one another. Always teasing each other, seeing how far they could go and still come safely back. It was one of the things he loved about their friendship. Their friendship ... would it ever become more?

He sighed and wondered just how long he would have to wait. How far was too far to encourage her? He paused in his thoughts and then realized that Beverly hadn't said a word to him since she had turned away. Placing his hands on her bare shoulders, he asked, "Beverly?"

She sighed inwardly as a wave of pleasure encompassed her as his hands touched her bare flesh. But, aloud, she only replied, "Yes?"

"I was merely teasing you. Nothing more than that," he spoke quietly.

Crusher smiled and turned in his arms. "I know that, Jean-Luc. I just wanted to see you sweat."

"Oh you did, did you?" came the reply. She smiled and nodded at him. Gazing into her bright blue eyes, he couldn't help but entertain the thought of leaning down and kissing her full lips. She watched as his eyes flickered to her lips and then back up to meet her gaze. He was leaning in closer when the 'lift halted. They jumped back from one another quickly as the doors parted. As they exited, both pretended not to notice the curious stares from the ensigns waiting at the turbolift doors.

xxx

Beverly leaned back in her chair and smiled at Jean-Luc. "Thank-you, Jean-Luc. Dinner was wonderful."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it, Beverly."

They sat at a table in the middle of the arboretum. Two elegant ivory candles graced the center of the table where they sat. Soft classical music wafted in the air, echoing throughout the forest of trees and plants. They had the place to themselves, Jean-Luc had seen to that.

Pushing his chair back, he stood up and walked over to her. "Care to dance?"

She took the hand he offered and was mildly surprised to find herself so close to him so suddenly. His fingers intertwined with hers, as he let his other hand come to rest firmly on her waist. Beverly smiled as she heard him speak.

"Enjoying yourself?" he murmured.

"Mmm," was her only reply.

She allowed herself to be swept off her feet by this extraordinary man. She followed his every movement as he guided her across the dance floor, gliding effortlessly in his arms.

Picard basked in the warmth of her, her body pressed close to his. He pulled her in even closer, as he allowed his other hand to fall from Beverly's and encircle her waist. She, in turn, brought her hands over his shoulders and around his neck, letting her face bury into his shoulder.

A few moments later, they had stopped dancing entirely, and just stood there, pressing against one another, swaying almost imperceptibly to the strains of music. Picard lowered his hands and let them lightly rest on her lower back.

Beverly pressed herself closer to him, wanting his touch. She raised her head and spoke softly. "Jean-Luc ..."

He shivered slightly as her breath danced across the back of his neck. He managed to find his voice before answering.

"Yes, Beverly?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For this. For everything. You always know just what to say, to do, to make me feel happy. I can't imagine life without you being there for me," she said in a muffled voice.

Picard didn't know what to say. He stood there for a moment, wondering. Wasi this the sign he had been waiting for? Had Beverly just signaled to him that she wanted to further their relationship? Sighing nwardly, he tried to decide on what to do. He could just take it as a thank-you from a close friend,  
nothing more than that and be safe. But, on the other hand, if he took it as something more and it wasn't, their friendship could be irrevocably damaged. _Whoever said life was fair, Jean-Luc?_

He was still debating as Beverly moved against him, brushing her hips to his. Whether it was a calculated gesture or not, it didn't matter. His decision was made with that movement. He slid his hands down her backside and gently squeezed.

Beverly inhaled sharply as she felt his hands move lower. A soft sigh escaped from her lips. Encouraged by her response, he leaned forward and placed his lips softly on hers. Slowly, gently, he began to kiss her. Moving his lips across hers with a delicate passion, he marveled at the sweet taste of her. Beverly, unable to stop herself, let out a small whimper as she felt his lips caress hers. It was a fevered passion that consumed them, a passion that had been denied for nearly twenty-five years, and now that it was free to  
reign, they were going to savor every moment of it.

Picard felt Beverly's hands move across his back and up to his neck. He let himself give in to the pleasures her wandering hands were creating. Her fingers grazed the short hairs that adorned the back of head, running back and forth across them, eliciting a low moan from him.

After what seemed like an eternity, they pulled apart. Beverly lifted her eyes to look into Jean-Luc's face. Gazing back at her, he could not help but smile as he spoke.

"I've wanted to do that since the first day I met you," he told her softly, his finger caressing her cheek.

"And I've wanted you to," Beverly replied, her voice barely above a whisper. Jean-Luc broke into a full smile as he leaned in closer to resume his earlier activity, but Beverly placed a gentle hand on his chest. He looked down at it, and then up at her, an unspoken question reflected in his eyes.

Beverly obliged him, beginning slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Jean-Luc, I know this is _definitely_ what I want," she began. Jean-Luc smiled broadly. "But," she continued, "I want to go slowly. I haven't done this relationship thing in a long time. And to tell you the truth, I'm a little scared," she finished.

Jean-Luc looked at her for a moment, and then folded her into his arms. "Beverly, I'm just happy to have you with me. We will take this as slow as you need. I promise you," he assured her.

"Thank-you, Jean-Luc," she said softly. _I love you._

Jean-Luc Picard eyed his reflection in the mirror, scrutinizing his appearance. He brought the razor up one more time and then, satisfied, he stepped back into the bedroom. He was debating on which aftershave to choose when his door chimed. _Look at yourself, Johnny. Acting like a teenage boy with his first crush_. He laughed aloud. He quickly applied the cologne and then walked towards his door as it chimed once again. He pressed the door panel and they parted to reveal a waiting Beverly Crusher.

"Good morning, Beverly," Jean-Luc said as she entered his quarters.

"Good morning, Jean-Luc." She stopped and turned around to face him. "Mmm, that wouldn't be the aftershave that I like so much, would it?" she asked, a sly grin on her face.

Picard felt his ears burning. Caught in the act, he opted for dismissing the question entirely. "Tea, Beverly?" he asked brightly.

Beverly laughed, his silence a sure answer to her question. "Why not, Jean-Luc," she replied, walking after him.

Breakfast was eaten, both enjoying the other's presence, and the feel of this new relationship. An occasional glance or touch occurred, but for the most part, they ate in companionable silence. When it neared time for them to begin their respective duties, Beverly got up and proceeded to clear the table as Jean-Luc quickly perused over their new orders. He laid the PADD down and watched her as she finished cleaning up. Putting out his hand, he took hold of her arm as she walked by his chair. She looked at him and then cried out in surprise as he pulled her down to his lap.

"Jean-Luc!" she admonished.

"What? I merely wanted to sweep you off your feet," he replied innocently.

Beverly looked at him sternly. After a moment, she could no longer help herself and she began to laugh.

"You're incorrigible. You know that, don't you," she told him.

"So I've been told," he agreed with a laugh. His eyes softened as he looked at her. "Did I tell you how beautiful you look today?"

"Mmm," was her only reply.

"Well, you do. Absolutely breathtaking."

Beverly smiled at him. "Thank-you," she said, pausing for a moment. Then she continued, "but I'm still not going to sleep with you."

Picard's eyes widened in shock. Then, realizing she was joking, he arched his eyebrow and said, "Well, there goes my plans for seducing you."

"I'm sure," Beverly agreed. "Now, _Captain_, would you kindly let me up, so that I can attend to my duties?" she teased.

"Of course, Doctor," he replied, releasing his arms that were wrapped around her waist. "I must attend to mine also."

Together, they walked to the turbolift. Once the doors had closed, Jean-Luc asked Beverly. "Will you be at dinner tonight?"

"Actually Jean-Luc, this really cute science officer asked me out tonight, so I've been considering his offer," Beverly replied teasingly.

"Oh I see," Picard said lightly. "Hmmm, well how about my offer," he said and then proceeded to lean down and kiss her.

After breaking apart, she looked at him, a twinkle in her eyes. "That was really tempting, but I'm afraid I'm going to have to decline your offer."

He arched an eyebrow. "Oh really? And why is that?"

She grinned mischievously and said, "I've had better." She was about to say something more when he engaged her in a lengthy, soul-searching kiss. He pulled away from her as he felt the turbolift slowing. Gazing into his eyes, she tried to catch her breath. The doors opened and he stepped out onto the Bridge.

Glancing at her, he asked, "I'll see you at 1800 hours?"

She could only nod at him as the doors closed on her smile.

Picard walked down the ramp and sat in his command chair. Smiling, he turned to his right.

"Status report, Number One?"

"We'll be arriving at Cetus 4-A in two hours, sir," Riker replied. Then, glancing at Picard, he asked, a small smile on his face, "And you, Sir? How was breakfast?"

Picard looked sharply at him for a moment, and then broke into a small laugh. "It was delightful, Will."

"Delightful?" he questioned, probing for more.

"Delightful."

Seeing that his captain wasn't going to divulge any more than that, he nodded his head and looked at the viewscreen. _Wait until Deanna hears about this._

xxx

Beverly glanced outside her office in time to see Deanna Troi walk through the Sickbay doors. Groaning inwardly, she prepared for the interrogation.

"Hi, Beverly," she greeted as she took a seat.

"Good morning, Deanna. What can I do for you?"

"Oh nothing really. I was just passing by and I thought I'd drop in for a moment," she lied.

"Try again," Beverly replied.

Deanna smiled and laughed. "All right! I'm curious. I admit it. Will told me …"

"Wait a second," Beverly interrupted. "Will told you? How does he know?"

"Beverly," Deanna scolded, "Men talk too."

"I can't believe Jean-Luc would talk about this. Not that he doesn't have the right too. It's just that he's so … private," she mused aloud.

"Actually, all he said was that breakfast was delightful," Deanna replied.

"Oh."

"And," she prompted.

"It was," Beverly informed her.

"That's it!" Deanna asked incredulously. That's all you're going to tell me?"

"Mmm-hmm," Beverly murmured.

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

xxx

"Then Deanna asked me about breakfast, so I just echoed your earlier comment," Beverly told Picard as they moved to the couch.

He laughed. "Well, I can see that this relationship is going to be the scuttlebutt of the ship."

"Looks that way," she agreed, nestling into the space he created for her.

"We'll just have to be careful what we say and do in public. It wouldn't do to have us causing gossip, now would it?" he teased.

"Absolutely not. But, that's just in public," she informed him as she raised a finger and traced his ear.

"Now in private, that's an entirely different matter," he breathed as he brought her lips to his.

"Mmmm …" Beverly murmured after the kiss had broken. She kept her eyes closed and leaned against his shoulder.

"Jean-Luc?"

"Yes?"

"Is this real?"

"What?" he chuckled.

"Is this real?"

Picard turned and put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her. "Beverly, what's wrong? Where did this come from?"

Beverly gazed into his eyes, a small, yet nervous smile on her lips. "Nothing's wrong, Jean-Luc. This is just so surreal – you and I being together. I mean, this is what I've wanted for so long, and now that it's  
finally happening, it's hard for to believe," she explained.

Warm emotion filled Jean-Luc as he listened to her words. A smile danced across his face as he replied. "Beverly, I can assure you, it's real. We're real. We're together and nothing is going to separate us. I can assure you of that. Trust me?"

A small nod of her head was sufficient an answer for him. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her close again.

"So," he breathed in her ear, "what now?"

"I don't know. This is nice, don't you think?"

"Very much so," he agreed, bringing his hand to her head and running his fingers through her silky strands.

They stayed that way for quite some time until finally they dozed off late into the night.


	2. Chapter 2

Beverly awoke with a sense of disorientation. Where was she? Then she felt Jean-Luc's arms wrapped tightly around her. Glancing at the chronometer, she sighed and quietly said, "Jean-Luc … Jean-Luc, wake up. It's 0600 hours."

He mumbled an incoherent statement in reply.

"Jean-Luc Picard, wake up now! We're on shift in less than one hour, and I for one would like to eat before going to work," she said more firmly.

"Alright, I'm awake," he muttered unconvincingly.

Beverly smiled and then laughed. "And here I've always thought that you were a morning person!"

Picard opened his eyes at that. "You know, Doctor, if this is how I'm going to get treated every morning, you can just go back to your own quarters." He waited for a moment and then continued, "And please correct me if I'm wrong, but yesterday I distinctly recall you stating that you were not going to sleep with me, and yet, here you are."

His remark was answered with a flying pillow. Laughing, he sat up and looked to where she was standing. Her hair was out of place, and her clothes a bit wrinkled, but oh he could get used to the sight of her every morning, if onlyshe would wake up next to him. Standing, he approached her and pulled her into a tight embrace. "Good morning, Doctor," he teased.

"Good morning Captain. Is this a new regulation on how to greet the CMO, because I really like it."

"I'm sure it could be," he agreed. "Now, why don't you go ahead and wash up first, while I change into my uniform."

"Is that an order?"

"It could be."

"Well then, I'll just have to 'make it so'," she laughed.

He groaned and closed his eyes. "Beverly, that was awful."

"I know," she replied brightly and left for the head after kissing him on the nose.

Jean-Luc smiled after her, watching her go. Rubbing the sleep from his eyes, he walked over to his desk and picked up a PADD. Glancing over the orders, he couldn't help but frown. Cardassians. He had a bad feeling about this. What could they possibly be up to. Sighing, he laid the PADD down and headed for  
the bedroom.

He entered his quarters and walked over to his drawers. Pulling out a uniform, he laid it on his bed and pulled off his turtleneck.

It was at that moment that Beverly walked out of the bathroom, drying her hair with a towel. She stopped when she saw Jean-Luc standing there, shirtless.

She eyed his form appreciatively, and raised an eyebrow. "I like it, Jean-Luc. Planning on reporting for duty that way?"

"Hardly," he replied dryly. "What about yourself? I really like the towel around the shoulders look. Very professional."

"Ha-ha. Very funny," she laughed, walking towards him. Jean-Luc just smiled at her, waiting. Raising her hand, she let it glide across the stubble on his chin. A soft smile graced her features. "I really think I like this, Jean-Luc." Her fingers trailed down to his chest and caressed the hair there. "I've always wondered if this was as soft as it looked."

"Beverly," he whispered hoarsely. "I can't be held responsible for my actions of you keep this up."

She stepped in closer to him. "Then I guess I'll just have to stop … for now."

Picard swallowed and shook his head. "Beverly, you're going to be the death ofme. A man my age can't take your constant teasing."

She laughed. "Oh, is that what you think? Believe me, Jean-Luc, you can keep up with me. Besides, who said I was teasing?" As if to emphasize her point, she leaned in and slowly kissed him.

He let his lips fall in to a rhythm with hers, savoring the kiss. He was dimly aware of her hands resting on his chest, as he brought his to her still damp hair. Running his fingers through her strawberry stands, he tilted her head to better accommodate his questing lips. He loved the sweet taste of her and loved even more the recognition he had of her taste. It was with great reluctance that he finally pulled away.

"Beverly, as much as I'd like to continue this conversation, I have to be on the Bridge in a few minutes."

"I know you do. Get dressed and I'll replicate us a quick meal."

Nodding, he let go of her and reached for his uniform top, watching her as she headed to the main living area.

Jean-Luc emerged a few minutes later, impeccably dressed in his captain's jacket and trousers. He sat down in his customary seat and began lathering butter onto a scone.

"So, are you going to tell me or do I have to ask?" Beverly inquired.

"Tell you what?"

"Whatever's been on your mind, Jean-Luc. You've been preoccupied these past few days, and it's not all because of me," she smiled.

His face took on a look of amusement. "Well, mostly you, but not completely, no," he admitted. "You're aware that we've been diverted to Cetus 4-A?"

She nodded. "The Cardassians are too close for Starfleet's comfort, if I'm not mistaken."

"Exactly. I just have a bad feeling about this whole mission. Something's not right," he said. Shaking his head, he shrugged and took a bite of his scone. "I don't know. Maybe I'm overreacting."

Beverly shook her head. "Jean-Luc, if there's one thing I've learned in my life, it's to trust your instincts. They're hardly ever wrong." She emphasized her point by shaking her knife at him. "You have every right to be wary. The Cardassians are formidable, not to mention ruthless, opponents. We know how little disregard they have for people."

She mentally kicked herself when she saw a look of pain flash across his face.

"Jean-Luc, I'm sorry," she started. "I didn't mean to imply …"

He silenced her apology with a wave of his hand. "It's alright, Beverly. I know. Why don't we forget about it and just enjoy our breakfast."

Interpreting the look on his features, she decided to let it drop. "Of course, Jean-Luc."

xxx

Will Riker stroked his beard in thought. Sensing Deanna's gaze, he turned to her. "What?"

"Nothing."

He looked at her, his blue eyes staring into her brown. "Deanna …"

She hesitated for a moment. "I can sense that you're worried about this mission."

"I am," he admitted. "Who wouldn't be? These are the Cardassians we're dealing with."

"True," she agreed, waiting.

"But …" he prompted.

"It's just that I can feel your anxiety concerning a confrontation. It's almost as if you want one."

He looked at her sharply and then averted his gaze to the viewscreen. "Maybe I do," he replied softly.

She sat silently, waiting.

"I can't just forget what they did to the Captain, Deanna. You of all people know how severely he was tortured, how deeply they scarred him. Do you just expect me to be okay with that? To not dwell on it?" he asked accusingly.

"Not at all, Will," she replied. "I, too, am angry about Celtris III. But, we can't afford to dwell on it at this instant. Our focus must be solely on our mission. We owe that much to Jean-Luc Picard."

She was about to say more when the turbolift doors parted, revealing the Captain. He strolled across the Bridge and sat down in his chair.

"Status report, Number One?"

"We'll be entering the Lorakan system in 56 minutes, Sir."

"Very good. I want a senior staff meeting at 0830 hours." Rising from his chair, "You have the Bridge, Number One," and then exited to his ready room.

Will looked at Deanna. She shook her head. "I don't know, Will. I can sense his apprehension about this mission, but other than that …"

"Let's just hope that it's nothing more than a routine sweep."

Deanna nodded a half-hearted agreement, not believing it any more than him.

xxx

"Sensors have detected an increase of Cardassian activity near Cetus 4-A. As you all know, Cetus 4-A is the test site for Starfleet's new reaction injectors. Starfleet Command feels that the increased activity by the  
Cardassians is due to the field tests."

Picard moved away from the window and sat in his customary seat at the head of  
the table. "Now, as you are all aware, our mission is to simply observe the Cardassians. We are not to interfere in any way. If we determine that their presence here is anything less than honorable, we are to notify Starfleet, who will then take the necessary actions."

"Captain, does Starfleet feel that we're not capable of handling this situation?" Will asked, concern etched into his features.

"No, Number One. Their concern is more directed at me. They feel with my recent 'questioning' at the hands of the Cardassians, I might not be able to react in an impartial manner to any confrontations that might arise."

"That's ridiculous," Beverly Crusher insisted.

"I tend to agree with you, Doctor. Unfortunately, Starfleet does not." He shifted his attention to the Klingon seated at the end of the table. "Mr. Worf, I want the ship placed on yellow alert and phasers readied, as a  
precaution."

"Aye, Sir."

"Mr. LaForge, I want Engineering prepared to take us out this system at a moment's notice."

"Aye, Sir. We'll be ready."

Turning to his right, he looked at Beverly. "Doctor, have Sickbay on standby." He raised a hand, warding off her forthcoming protest. "I am not expecting any confrontations, but I would rather be prepared than not."

He let his gaze roam the room, taking in the seriousness of their situation. "Dismissed."

Beverly waited until the others filed out, before walking over to Jean-Luc.

"Penny," she asked gently.

He glanced up at her, a small smile forming on his lips.

"I love it when you say that," he told her softly.

"What? Penny?" she asked, a small note of surprise creeping into her voice.

"Yes."

"Whatever for?"

"You always seem to say it when I need your counsel. It's like it's my own private invitation to confide in you," he explained, taking her hand in his.

"Well, know that I know …" her voice trailed off and they sat silent for a few moments.

"I hate the waiting," he finally said. "By nature, I'm generally a patient man, but this sitting here, doing nothing," he shook his head, frowning.

Beverly leaned forward and placed her hand on his cheek. "Jean-Luc, I know you're apprehensive about this mission. And I know that you still foster resentment about your …," she struggled for a moment with the word, "… torture. And don't tell me it isn't so," she raised a hand, putting an end to his protest before it could begin. "I'm your doctor and I'm your friend. I know how it affected you. But remember this, for me, please." He glanced up at her, expectantly. "I'm all of these things to you, but first and foremost, I'm Beverly Crusher – the woman who loves you."

Jean-Luc sat still for a moment, absorbing what she said, what he thought he had just heard.

"Beverly," he whispered.

She nodded, taking his face in both her hands. "I do. I love you, Jean-Luc Picard."

He rose from his chair and gathered her in his arms. "I love you, Beverly. With all that I am, I love you."

He was about to say more when his comm badge beeped.

"Captain, we'll be in orbital range of Cetus 4-A in ten minutes."

"Very good," he replied, all business once more. "Establish standard orbit as soon as you're able and prepare an Away Team to beam down to the compound."

"Aye, Sir. Riker out."

His conversation finished, he turned, taking her hand in his, leaning in closer for a kiss. He was surprised when she put a hand up, stopping him.

"What's wrong?" Confusion was etched across his face.

Beverly smiled and lifted a hand. "I thought we should wait until after Will contacts me for the Away Team. In five," she began counting down, folding a finger with each number. "Four … three … two …"

"Riker to Crusher."

'See' Beverly mouthed, grinning. Picard smiled, his eyes dancing with laughter.

"Crusher here."

"We're going to need a medical team when we beam down. Can you be ready in ten minutes?"

She glanced at Picard. "Make it fifteen and we'll be there."

"Acknowledged. Riker out."

Picard waited a moment, making certain the comm link had been severed. Once sure, he laughed and pulled Beverly close.

"Amazing," he chuckled. "Right down to the second."

"Yes, well, it's one of my many talents," she laughed.

Growing serious, his arms came around her waist as he murmured affectionately in her ear.

"I can't wait to find out more of your _talents_."

She sighed softly as his breath whispered in his ear and then louder when his lips caught her earlobe and began sucking gently on it.

"Jean-Luc," she warned.

He let his lips fall to her neck.

"Jean-Luc. You have to –" she struggled to keep a coherent thought, " – have to stop. I have to beam down in ten minutes."

He agreed with her, albeit reluctantly, and stepped away. But not before placing a tender kiss on her lips. Looking into her eyes, he spoke quietly. "Please be careful, Beverly."

She gazed lovingly at him and brought her palm to his cheek.

"I promise to, Jean-Luc. We have some unfinished business to take care of when I return."

Nodding silently, he watched as she left the Observation Lounge, taking leave of him and his heart.

xxx 

"20cc's cortizene."

"Stabilize."

"Dermal regenerator."

Voices floated in and out of Beverly's consciousness. She was dimly aware of the fact that she was in Sickbay, but could summon the strength to do anything about it. She hurt. A lot. She could feel the phaser wound Must have been set pretty high if they were using 20cc's. The pain increased, causing her to  
groan loudly.

"Dr. Crusher?" the concerned voice of Alyssa Ogawa filtered through Beverly's haze. "Dr. Selar, she's regaining consciousness!"

The Vulcan moved over to peer into Beverly's eyes. Beverly managed a small rasp.

"How bad is it?"

"You were hit but a Cardassian rifle, setting 15. The skin around the wound is badly damaged, but we have prevented any infection from setting in."

Beverly tried to nod, which resulted in more pain lancing throughout her body. Alyssa reached over with a sedative.

"No!" Beverly rasped. "Not unti l…"

The doors to Sickbay slid open, admitting an agitated Jean-Luc Picard.

"Jean-Luc," she whispered, raising a hand.

He reached her side. "Beverly." Turning to Selar, he asked, "How is she?"

"She suffered second degree phaser burns and sever trauma to the chest. We've managed to stay an infection, but we need to get her into surgery. _Now_." Her tone brooked no room for argument.

"Jean-Luc?"

"I'm right here, Beverly." He took her hand and gazed down at her with pain=filled eyes.

"I told them –" she broke off, catching her breath. "… had to wait until you made it. To calm you," she smiled painfully.

Tears filled his eyes and threatened to fall. He could only nod, not trusting himself to speak.

"_Captain_."

Selar's voice interrupted him. "We can wait no longer."

He nodded his understanding and leaned down to where Beverly lay. Not caring who saw or heard, he placed his lips gently on hers, careful not to hurt her. She responded weakly, as best she could.

"I love you, Beverly Crusher. Don't you forget that."

She smiled and softly answered, "I love you."

"I'll be waiting for you. As soon as you get out, I'll see you," he promised, taking her hand in his. He held on as they took her away, until her hand slipped from his. Sighing, he turned to the gentle mention of his name. Alyssa stood there, smiling at him.

"She's going to be fine, Sir. Dr. Selar is the best trained surgeon for this operation. Why don't you go into Dr. Crusher's office and sit down. I'll bring some tea."

Picard gave her a grateful look. "Thank you, Alyssa. I appreciate your concern."

She smiled, watching him retreat into the office. She had known for quite some time that there something going on between her boss and the Captain. And now that they had finally acted upon it, she was going to do everything within her power to see that nothing jeopardized it. 

xxx 

"Sir?"

"Captain, wake up."

Jean-Luc raised his head as the gentle insistence of Nurse Ogawa broke through the foggy haze in his mind. Bleary eyes came into focus when he remembered where he was.

"What's wrong? Beverly! Is she –"

Alyssa broke in. "She's fine. She came out of surgery a few hours ago. We thought it best to let you sleep until she came around," she explained.

"I can see her now." It wasn't a question.

Alyssa recognized this and acquiesced. "Of course, Sir. Just don't let her get excited. She needs to stay calm."

He nodded his understanding and made his way his way to the biobed where Beverly lay. Her chest rose and fell with each breath she took, as if to emphasize the strong life flowing through her. Reaching down, he laced his fingers through hers. She stirred softly, gradually opening her eyes.

"Jean-Luc." A smile bloomed across her tired features and was matched by his own.

"Beverly. How do you feel?"

"Like I've been shot out of a torpedo bay."

He chuckled, "I can imagine," then fell silent.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. I'm sorry, my mind wandered."

"Jean-Luc," she scolded. "You're lying to me."

"I am." He sighed. "This … you being injured. It's shaken me up a bit. It hurts me to see you lying here. In pain. I should've been there to protect you…you could've been killed." His voice cracked and a tear slid down his cheek.

"Oh, Jean-Luc. We couldn't have known. There's nothing you could've done. Your place was, is, on the Bridge. My place was with the Away Team. Nothing more, nothing less." She reached up and wiped the tear away as he stood there, saying nothing.

"You're not listening to me are you?"

"I am listening," he countered. "I just can't forgive myself for not being there."

"Jean-Luc, there's nothing to forgive. You can't always protect me. Just like I can't always protect you. It goes with the job. We both know that."

Silence filled the air, until she finally tugged on his hand and pulled him down to her, taking in his tired features.

"You didn't sleep last night, did you?"

He opened to tell her that yes, he had slept, quite well actually, and then thought better of it. He never could lie to her.

"A little in your office, but not much, no."

The corner of her eyes crinkled as she smiled. "Stupid, silly man. What am I going to do with you?"

"Well, you can start by not calling me stupid," he warned, a teasing gleam flashing in his eyes.

"How about I quit calling you that when you quit acting like it?"

He made a show of mulling it over and then shrugged. "No deal."

"No deal? Well, how about my other offer?"

"And what might that be?"

Pulling him closer, she touched her nose to his. "I want a nice romantic dinner as soon as I get out of her. Complete with wine, dancing, and one Jean-Luc Picard," she murmured, her lips brushing his.

"I think that can be arranged," he whispered.

"Terrific," she said with a weak smile and then leaned back down onto the bed. "Now, when do I get out of here?"

"Dr. Selar wants to keep you a few more days for observation. After that, you should be free to leave."

"A prisoner in my own Sickbay," she muttered. "It's a conspiracy."

"I very much doubt that, Beverly. If you want to know the truth, I think they're cutting your time here short." He winked at her and took a step back. "Not that I blame them."

"Ha ha. Funny. Now step back over here so I can hit you before I kick you out."

Laughing, he moved to her side and leaned down. "I'll be by to check on you later. Get some rest."

"Is that an order?"

"Most definitely."

"Yes, Sir."

He smiled at her pretense of insolence and then leaned down, covering her lips with his own, kissing her fully.

"I have to go now," he whispered, pulling away.

"I know."

His finger traced her cheekbone. When he spoke again, it was full with emotion. "I love you, Beverly Crusher."

She leaned into the gentle caress, her eyes sliding shut at his words. "And I you. So much that it hurts."

Lowering his hand to her mouth, he traced the contour of her lips, letting a finger come to rest on the corner of one.

"So beautiful," he murmured. "My beautiful Beverly." He sighed and slowly pulled away. "I have to go now or I'll be late." His voice was low.

"I know," she nodded. "Go."

"Not planning on going anywhere?"

"Most likely not," she laughed. "I'll be here when you get back. I promise."

"I'll see you as soon as I get off shift."

"I look forward to it." She smiled. He just stood there. After a few moments, she spoke again.

"Jean-Luc?"

"Yes?"

"Go away!"

"Of course. I was going. I just wanted to make sure you're going to be all right."

"I'm fine. I'll be fine. Now go."

Glancing at her one last time, he turned and smiled as the doors behind him closed on Beverly's amused laughter. 


	3. Chapter 3

Five days later heralded the much awaited departure of Beverly Crusher from Sickbay. Much awaited by Beverly, who was thrilled at finally being able to escape the ministrations of her overattentive staff; and much awaited by her staff, who where quick to confirm the age old adage that doctors were indeed  
the worst patients.

Dr. Selar had agreed to release her under the conditions that she come in for weekly regenerative appointments and that she get some rest. Jean-Luc, hovering nearby and listening intently, had glanced pointedly at Beverly in regards to the latter. Finally in what seemed like hours, but was, in all actuality, mere minutes, Beverly made it to her quarters. Sighing dramatically, she plopped down onto her couch.

"Finally! Free at last!" she proclaimed.

"Yes," Jean-Luc murmured, coming to sit beside her. "I don't know who's happier. You or your staff."

"That's a horrible thing to say, Jean-Luc."

Picard saw the laughter in her eyes and smiled. "It is," he admitted, "but it's still true. You don't make a very good patient."

"I know," she sighed, glancing over. "But, then again, neither do you."

"Touché." He laughed and brought his arm to the back of couch.

Beverly smiled and leaned back into the space he had created for her. "So, are you going to tell me what happened down there or do I have to start guessing?"

"No, of course I'll tell you. I just wanted to wait until you were recovered."

Beverly took in the sadness of his voice, the reflection in his eyes, and immediately knew. "All of them?" she whispered.

He nodded.

"Dead. There were over 1,014 people at the research institute," her voice cracked.

He placed a comforting arm around her. "Shh. I know. There was nothing we could do for them."

Sniffling, she raised her head. "And the Cardassians? Did they take the proto-reactor?"

"No, thanks to you, they did not."

"Me?" She looked surprised.

"Yes. Apparently, they were in the process of removing the proto-reactor from its housing chamber when you, Will, and Data walked in."

"So, in essence, had I not been there to get shot, the proto-reactor would be halfway to Cardassia by now."

Jean-Luc glanced at her warily. "That's a rough assessment, yes." He paused. "An old professor of mine would say that what you did was an effective, if not dramatic, display of field tactics."

"Hmph. I don't want to repeat that _effective display_ for a long time."

"I'd actually prefer if it were never."

The poorly masked pain in his statement prodded Beverly to lift her head, bringing her eye level with him. She reached up and placed her palm against his cheek. "Jean-Luc. I'm so sorry."

He closed his eyes and released a short breath. Leaning into her touch, he spoke. "Beverly, I thought that I'd lost you. I saw you lying there, in Sickbay, and I could think about was how I might never get to hold you in my arms again. Never taste your sweet lips, never …"

His words were muffled. She leaned in closer, not quite understanding what he was murmuring. "Never what, Jean-Luc?" she pressed him, straining to hear his whispered reply.

"Make love. I would never get to make love to you. Hear you call out my name in passion. Feel your body beneath mine."

Beverly's eyes slid shut at his words, her breath suddenly becoming very quick. This sweet man, who loved her with his very soul, who had been to hell and back, was broken. Broken by the simple thought that he might never share his bed with her. Her heart flooded with emotion, her decision made. It was  
finally alright. There would be no more waiting.

"What makes you so sure that it won't be you calling out my name?" she whispered softly.

His eyes lifted to meet their blue counterparts and a loving smile. "Beverly?" he murmured, the silent question being asked in his gaze, still unsure of what he thought he'd just heard.

"I want you to make love to me, Jean-Luc," came the tender reply.

His lips covered hers in agreement. 

EPILOGUE

"Picard to Troi."

"Troi here."

"Could you come to my quarters. I could use your help."

"On my way."

A few minutes later, Deanna stood outside the doorway, thumbing the control panel.

"Come!"

Deanna glided through the doors and then burst into laughter at the sight she beheld. Beverly Picard stood before her, hair in disarray, and a foreign green substance splattered across her upper body.

"I take it Jack isn't too happy," she giggled.

"Very funny. Here," she sighed, thrusting the little boy into Deanna's arms. "Babysitting is going to start a little early tonight."

"Fine with me," Deanna smiled, gazing at the toddler with undisguised affection. She followed Beverly into the bedroom. "Busy day?"

"Hah!" she snorted. "I had an entire class of second graders in Sickbay for a your this morning, two surgeries, one birth - Ensign James," she said in answer to Deanna's questioning look. "And as if that wasn't enough, Jean-Luc is going to be home in an hour, expecting me to be ready for tonight."

She let out an exasperated sigh as she made her across the room. Spying a flash of red, she bent down. "That man!"

Deanna glanced up. "What?"

"If he ever learned to pick up his clothes, I'd die of shock!"

"The Captain?" Deanna's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "I would've thought he'd be more ... tidy. "

"So did I. But I was wrong. He's not. At least when it comes to his clothes. See?" She lifted up a pair of red silk boxers as if to emphasize her point.

Deanna tried suppressing a laugh, but failed…miserably. "He wears those?"

Beverly looked up, confused. "Yes. Why?"

"It's just that they're so," she paused.

"So what?"

"Sexy."

Beverly was silent for a moment. Then, a sly grin broke out onto her face. "Yes. They are. He is."

"Who is?" asked a baritone voice.

Beverly stuffed the boxers behind her back as Jean-Luc stepped into the entryway.

"Nobody, Jean-Luc."

He glanced over at Deanna, who at the moment, was trying to be the picture of pure innocence, and then back at Beverly.

Deanna stood. "Well, I think Jack and I will be going now. I'll drop him off tomorrow first thing."

Beverly watched enviously as she made her escape from their quarters and then brought her attention back to Jean-Luc when he cleared his throat.

"You're home early tonight."

"I am," he nodded. "And you're up to something."

"I am not _up to something_."

"Mm-hmm." He came closer. "What's behind your back?"

Beverly though about it for a moment and then decided that giving up would be easier than trying to convince Jean-Luc otherwise. Bringing her hand out from behind, she smiled. "Just your boxers."

His eyes narrowed. "And why, may I ask, were you discussing my underwear with Deanna?"

"We weren't 'discussing' anything, Jean-Luc. She happened to see them and commented that they were sexy. I merely agreed."

"I see."

"That was it. I didn't discuss our sex life or anything that could cause even an iota of embarrassment t you. I promise."

"Well, I was planning on taking you to dinner tonight, but now –"

"Now what?"

"Now that you're so interested in my underwear, perhaps we should spend some time discussing it in depth."

Beverly smiled softly as he pulled her close. "Sounds like a great idea to me."

He leaned in and kissed her. "Glad you approve," he whispered, his hands moving to the back of her uniform.

"I always approve of your _ideas _Jean-Luc."

His laughter was cut off as her lips covered his.

xxx 

Much, much later, under the cover of blackness and starlight, three words were uttered.

"Happy Anniversary, love." 


End file.
